The first time tossed a few drops of rain from my coat, I want to be perfect. My steps are decided, my eyes are fixed ahead of me. Walk into the main hall of the airport in my hometown. A thousand times this place has seen my presence: flights to New York, London, Brussels, Paris and Berlin. Labour, international meetings. Today, pleasure to be here for the really important things. My name is Richard and Lucy will know today, my daughter.
She has seven years old, lives in Paris with Caroline, her mother, my ex-wife. This situation is the daughter of a thousand mistakes, many of selfishness, of unnecessary fights and the darkness blind hatred of men.
I sit, awaiting the moment when the plane from Paris to bring me my baby. As I close my eyes and my breathing slows down, I feel in my inner pocket of his coat the vibration of my phone.
The Black Blackberry brings me to my responsibility, my office is looking for me. I have a moment's hesitation, the phone is in my hands. No, not today. I do not want to lose it again. Reject the call and do the curtain down on all possible distractions.
I know I should not, but I feel like today was the day of an exam, like I'm playing all my possibilities.
My concern, there will also be his mother. Blonde, beautiful, with that harsh voice, his French accent and quick ways. I have always been awed.
Our relationship had never been an idyll, too many absences, there lived in the wrong way, we left sitting in a small cafe on the Left Bank, dawn, she was tired I had to catch a plane, as always.
I did not know she was pregnant, she does not know, Perhaps the silence was his punishment. Often the most important news, those who know how to change your life, you become part of the more unusual ways. I was in his Paris on Christmas Day, I was buying my present (loneliness involves unusual traditions), when suddenly we came. She pushed a stroller. I did not ask, she said. But I already knew, or rather, I guess. She who does not disprove my statements, the guilty silence, my watch Lucy for a moment.
After many phone calls came chasing his first admission, the first time I heard you give in, when he tried to identify with in my state, even if his selflessness, his empathy lasted this time to hear my tears dry up the other end.
I asked a thousand times to see it, Lucy, of course she did not want to review, Caroline. It will probably be a short meeting, so I want everything to be peaceful, I want to take her to see the places dear to me, hoping that one day they are for her.
My thoughts overwhelm me but do not prevent me from looking at the display of flights and noted that the Air France plane from Paris has just landed. I stand up, suddenly, I settle the tie and coat.
My heart rate increases. Each time the sliding door of the arrivals opens my heart explodes. The silence surrounding my space, I feel nothing, I recognize the heels of Caroline, his way of walking.
The door opens, I see her, beautiful, hard look in his eyes met mine, he paints a smile. Moves from the center of the room like a curtain on stage to let the protagonists of a work.
Lucy! Blonde, with her tresses, with a beautiful blue dress, shy, attached to the leg of his mother.
The moments following frames, a small masterpiece of silence: I crouch, she takes a step toward me, but does not smile.
I smile, excited her, Caroline is embarrassed, moves away, caressing the little Lucy.
Lucy, step, look at me, now smiling.
" Fr. .. Pa dad."
Lucy, who has just walked into my world and met my beard hard in our first embrace.
